MADONNA) // (CHILD

MADONNA) // (CHILD
So Strong; yet so calm: Mary's Choice.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Blessed Is The Nation Who's God Is The Lord...?


I got the idea for this sign of mine pictured above by combining
two different signs seen in front of two different Baptist churches. 


Clairmont Hills Baptist Church, located just around the corner from where I live, has irritated the fuck out of me for years displaying this one quote over and over again; apparently a favorite of theirs.
I had been raised by the public school system of Prescott, Arkansas, population four thousand, to take pride in the fact that the United States of America considered itself a plural society; despite being a predominately Christian nation.  That it was America being a plural society we credit for it's exceptionalism; not the "real" American Sarah Palin and the likes of her want to believe instead.

So...
when I came across this picture of a sign from a different Baptist Church someone had uploaded to the Internet, couldn't help but wonder just what kind of Christians were the target of this sermon.

Would these Christians be the cafeteria Christians?

Can a Christian be dangerous and still be a Christian that counts toward "a nation being blessed who's God is the Lord?"

Although I'm okay being labeled a Methodist as that actually tells you something about my upbringing...
absolutely refuse being  labeled a Christian.


Christian...
such a meaningless, useless word.

Although a driver's license will not stop someone from becoming a reckless driver...
sure would be nice one having to pass a test before becoming a reckless Christian.


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Coroner: Heroin, alcohol killed Cory Monteith


Coroner: Heroin, alcohol killed Cory Monteith: The British Columbia coroner confirms in its report that Glee actor Cory Monteith died of a mixed drug toxicity, involving heroin and alcohol.

The 31-year-old was found dead at the Fairmont Pacific Rim hotel in Vancouver on Saturday after checking in there on July 6. Police expedited Monteith's autopsy and toxicology report Monday and said from the start that they suspected no foul play.

In an interview with Parade magazine in 2011, Monteith said his drug use had spiraled out of control when he was a young teen and that he was "doing anything and everything, as much as possible."

Saturday, July 13, 2013

So.
You're not part of the Phelps family then.
~(First Young Man/Soldier)~
 
"I'm beginning to see, now, I'm doing exactly what it is you were wanting.
Only just encouraging you to keep doing this."
~(Second Young Man/Soldier?/Christian)~
 
"Well...
maybe the question marks will be what saves you."
~(My Mother)~
 
 
 
Suppose now is as good a time trying to explain my reasons for these signs.
 
I am a 51 year old avowed practicing homosexual as well an atheist having recently decided to retire from the practice of veterinary clinical medicine because I begin to realize there wasn't much hope for a future where I would be happy if continuing to practice veterinary medicine; having a mid-life crisis combined with a crystal meths addiction that had become a daily habit since 1999.
 
"If you want to see the truth, you're going to have to leap."
~(Unknown)~
 
There being just too many factors having occurred over the course of my lifetime I could point to being the reasons leading me to this point in my life, decided to take a leap of faith instead, having decided combining my life story with a passion for politics as a bleeding heart liberal only chance I had for a career change to one I enjoy; removing a trigger for my crystal meths addiction as well. 
 
Only after that happens first, could anything meaningful, such as companionship, a chance to happen. 
 
"Well...
if it's true the truth will set you free,
then I see no reason why it would be wrong
taking
everyone down with me."
~(James Edward Avery, DVM)~
 
And here is where my problem lies...
having to perform my own intervention for the crystal meths addiction; underestimating just how much I wouldn't be able counting on people being supportive in any meaningful way helping me stay off the crystal meths. I had already realized the fact no one having performed my intervention after all those years meant I would have to tell everyone myself; everyone. All I got from everyone was, "go get help," instead of anyone willing to offer me the help I was asking for.
 
"How does one go ask for help if not sure where to begin?"
~(Jim Ed)~ 
 
But the one thing I didn't expect, believing I knew nationally known pastoral consultant George Robert Gary, Sr. ThD and his wife and Janet well enough combined with the surprisingly unexpected respect they have shown me over the years as their neighbor, able asking for some help/advice turning out to be completely untrue.  Having mistakenly believed Bob Gary to be the intellectual first not afraid of the truth combined with the false Christian grace shown me by his wife; them concurring (conspiring) together against me since, I blame most for my life having been sent into an unexpected as well as undeserved tailspin dive.
 
 
Not only did it remove a potential way of networking into Emory, it ended up with them networking with Emory, as well as DeKalb County's elected officials, against me instead. 
 
 
Took me a year, from Nov. 2010 through Oct. 2011 I now refer to as "DEAD MAN WALKING," before able pulling up from that dive absolutely on my own; involuntary admittance to DeKalb Crisis Center and Georgia Regional Hospital during that year only adding to the dive instead of helping me in any way.
 
So...
completely on my own,
 I'm left with no choice but to earn back the respect I deserve the only way I know how:
Combining their contribution to my life story since with my passion for politics as a bleeding heart liberal; having learned the hard way, so far left, I even make the Liberals nervous.  If they won't let me come to them, then I will just have to let them to come to me.
 
Meanwhile,
 using my blog and yard as a medium for sharing what I've learned from my life story.
 
If I don't put it out there,
then there is no chance of anyone recognizing my potentials; 
offering me a job related with politic such as being part of a liberal think tank. 
 
 
 
 
"You cannot take what Jesus said then,
repeat it today,
and have it mean the same thing. 
You just cannot do that. 
 Not even Jesus himself could do that."
 
"One must be willing
-able-
 displeasing them all...
as that's what it would take,
 this day and age,
fair to them all."
 
"Jesus had it easy.
All he had to do was give everybody...
A HUG."
 
 
Simply Jim:
~(6!9)~
One Pearl,
Total Pig,
Anti-Christ

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Sleepers (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"Whatever you do to the least of my brethren...
you do to me."
~(Father Bobby)~
 
"Life is risk."
~(King Benny)~
 
"There's always gonna be more bad guys than good, Mikey."
~(Assistant District Attorney)~
 
"Court is for uptown people with suits, money...
lawyers with three names.
If you got cash, you can buy court justice.
But on the street, justice has no price. 
She's blind where the judge sits, but she's not blind out here.
Out here, the bitch got eyes."
~(Fat Man)~
 
 
 
"Sleepers"
is
a street name for anyone who spent time in a juvenile facility.
 
 


Sleepers (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Sleepers is a 1996 American legal drama film written, produced, and directed by Barry Levinson, and based on Lorenzo Carcaterra's 1995 novel of the same name.

Plot

Lorenzo "Shakes" Carcaterra, Thomas "Tommy" Marcano, Michael Sullivan, and John Reilly are childhood friends in Hell's Kitchen, New York City in the mid-1960s. The local priest, Father Bobby Carillo (De Niro), plays an important part in their lives and keeps an eye on them. However, early on they start running small errands for a local gangster, King Benny.

In the summer of 1967, their lives take a turn when they nearly kill a man after pulling a prank on a hot dog vendor. As punishment, the older three are sentenced to serve 12 to 18 months at the Wilkinson Home for Boys in Upstate New York while Lorenzo is sentenced to 6 to 12 months. There, the boys are systematically abused and raped by guards Sean Nokes, Henry Addison, Ralph Ferguson, and Adam Styler.

Fourteen years later, John and Tommy kill Nokes in a Hell's Kitchen pub in front of witnesses.
 
***
 
 You can basically divide this movie into two parts:
 
1st semester which described their childhood upbringing,
and
2nd semester which gives you an insight into their lives as adult.
 
I chose to include in my blog only the plot up until the confrontation in the Hell's Kitchen pub as the rest of the movie I found to be  mostly the work of fiction than anything that might actually happen in real life.  Just too many people from different walks of life involved in that conspiracy from that point on to be believable.
 
One thing I like about watching movies alone I rent from Netflix, besides watching them in closed caption, is checking out the bonus features afterward. 
 
With this movie,
SLEEPERS,
it was the production notes I found most enlightening which I want to share with you as followed.
 
PRODUCTION NOTES
 
"Sleepers' is an American tragedy," writer/director Barry Levinson says about the story he adapted from Lorenzo Carcaterra's novel of that same title.
 
"Often events occur early in our lives that affect everything that comes after.  A small event can alter your destiny forever."
 
"These boys came from Hell's Kitchen, a neighborhood that basically dealt with its own problems internally," Levinson explains.
 
"So years later, when confronted with someone who represented the suffering of their reform-school past, they took retribution into their own hands."
 
"On the surface, it's easy to question the morality of their actions.  but, given those circumstances, who's to say what any of us might do?"
 
"Sleepers" also focuses on the judicial system and how it will function when it is manipulated.
 
The four boys, after reaching manhood, are unable to exact pitiless revenge on the guards who tried to destroy them.
 
"All those years later, their hatred of the guards  had not gone away," Levinson says.  Their revenge was street justice, even though it used the judicial system." 
 
Levinson confronts this disturbing clash between justice and morality while also exploring themes from his previous projects-the bonds of friendship.
 
In "Diner," childhood friends grew to manhood, but struggled to maintain the ties of their playful adolescence.
 
In "Good Morning, Vietnam," an American disc jockey befriended a young Vietnamese boy while lifting the spirits of soldiers who were wrestling with the realities of war.
 
"Rain Man" probed the friendship between an idiot-savant and his worldly younger brothers as they traveled crossed-country.
 
"I've written a lot about friendship, the dynamics of tight-knit groups and how those friendships endure," Levinson says.
 
"And although I grew up in a very different environment, when I read Lorenzo's book, I found it very compatible to the kind of work I might do.
 
"It also deals with disturbing issues that aren't easily resolved.  At its center is a moral conundrum that isn't easily forgotten."
 
"Sleepers"describes four boys who lost their innocence at a time - the mid-1960s - when America was losing its own innocence.
 
Levinson says, "We all start out as children, as innocents.  You see children, they're struggling to learn.  They evolve.  And you say, 'What causes us to be who we are?  Family, community, nation?"'
 
"Some people excel and others are haunted by events for the rest of their lives."
 
***
 
Plan to add experiences from my own life later.  Don't expect it to be a traumating event anywhere close to what these young boys suffered.
 
Quite the opposite.
 
 

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Rob Roy (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"What is honor?"
~(Son)~
 
"Honor is--
What no man can give you, and none can take away. 
Honor is a man's gift to himself."
~(Rob Roy MacGregor)~
 
"How do you know if you have it?"
~(Son)~
 
"Never worry on the getting of it.  It grows in you and speaks to you.
All you need to do is listen."
~(Rob Roy MacGregor)~
 
 


Rob Roy (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Rob Roy is a 1995 adventure film directed by Michael Caton-Jones. Liam Neeson stars as Rob Roy MacGregor, an 18th-century Scottish historical figure who battles with feudal landowners in the Scottish Highlands. Jessica Lange, John Hurt, Tim Roth, Eric Stoltz, and Jason Flemyng also star. Roth was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of the villain Archibald Cunningham.

 
The critic applauded Tim Roth's performance, calling it "crucial" to the film's success.


Plot

Rob Roy MacGregor (Liam Neeson) is a cattle drover and the leader of a clan in 18th century Scotland. He seeks and receives a loan of £1000 from the Marquis of Montrose (John Hurt). One of the Marquis's henchmen, Archibald Cunningham (Tim Roth), learns about the loan from Montrose's factor, Killearn (Brian Cox). Cunningham kills MacGregor's best friend MacDonald (Eric Stoltz) and steals the money.

Unable to pay his loan, MacGregor is forced to become an outlaw when he refuses to bear false witness for Montrose against the Duke of Argyll (Andrew Keir). He is hunted by Cunningham, who rapes MacGregor's wife Mary (Jessica Lange) to provoke him. Cunningham ultimately captures MacGregor after killing his brother. However when Cunningham presents him to Montrose, MacGregor escapes. Meanwhile, Mary tells the Duke of Argyll that MacGregor fled Montrose because of his refusal to bear false witness against him. Meanwhile, Macgregor persuades Argyll to propose to Montrose a duel between him and Cunningham, leading to a climactic sword duel to the death.
 
Historical Accuracy
 
In Rob Roy, the Scottish Highlanders and English aristocrats are portrayed in opposite manners. The Guardian wrote, "The baddies are English and queer, the goodies are Scottish and ruggedly hetero." It asserted the Scottish portrayal as American-driven and referenced a subplot where one of Rob Roy's men wants to emigrate to America. In addition, while the film spanned the years between 1712 and 1722, historical events like the rising of the clans, the battles of Sheriffmuir and Glen Shiel were left out of the film.
 
In the film, the characters Killearn (John Grahame in real life) and Cunningham steal £1,000 that was given to Rob Roy by Montrose as an investment. In reality, Montrose provided Rob Roy £1,000 yearly between 1702 and 1712, and the theft was by one of Rob Roy's men or reportedly by Rob Roy himself. The historical Rob Roy also had an anti-Whig attitude, attacking a kirk in Arngask, stealing the congregation's bibles and forcing its members to strip naked; the attack was not included in the film. In addition, Cunningham (not based on a real person) rapes Mary to provoke Rob Roy, where a legend existed that Grahame (Killearn in the film) was the rapist. Regardless, historians doubt sexual violence took place; Rob Roy captured Grahame but treated him well. Mary, who became pregnant in the film as a result of the rape, was not pregnant at the time in real life. She was only pregnant four years after the supposed rape, giving birth to Robin Og.
 
***
Part of what I liked about this movie
 was
the relationship between Rob Roy and his wife Mary; 
how Rob Roy stood by his wife
despite
the possibility she was carrying someone else child due to no fault of her own.
 
All one has to do is substitute
Joseph
for the the character of Rob Roy and you have a story very similar to the birth of Jesus.
 
It is also this honor Rob Roy MacGreagor speaks of in this movie
I accuse 
my ex-neighbors George Robert Gary, Sr. ThD and his wife Janet,
as well as the Glenn Memorial Methodist Church not living up to.

That...
and underestimating mine.
 
 

Independence Day (United States) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



Independence Day (United States) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, and political speeches and ceremonies, in addition to various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the National Day of the United States.

During the American Revolution, the legal separation of the Thirteen Colonies from Great Britain occurred on July 2, 1776, when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve a resolution of independence that had been proposed in June by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia declaring the United States independent from Great Britain. After voting for independence, Congress turned its attention to the Declaration of Independence, a statement explaining this decision, which had been prepared by a Committee of Five, with Thomas Jefferson as its principal author. Congress debated and revised the wording of the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4. A day earlier, John Adams had written to his wife Abigail:

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.

Adams's prediction was off by two days. From the outset, Americans celebrated independence on July 4, the date shown on the much-publicized Declaration of Independence, rather than on July 2, the date the resolution of independence was approved in a closed session of Congress

Historians have long disputed whether Congress actually signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, even though Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Benjamin Franklin all later wrote that they had signed it on that day. Most historians have concluded that the Declaration was signed nearly a month after its adoption, on August 2, 1776, and not on July 4 as is commonly believed.

In a remarkable coincidence, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the only signers of the Declaration of Independence later to serve as Presidents of the United States, died on the same day: July 4, 1826, which was the 50th anniversary of the Declaration. Although not a signer of the Declaration of Independence, but another Founding Father who became a President, James Monroe, died on July 4, 1831, thus becoming the third President in a row who died on this memorable day. Calvin Coolidge, the 30th President, was born on July 4, 1872, and, so far, is the only President to have been born on Independence Day.
 
***
 
 "I think all the heretics I have known have been virtuous men.  They have the virtue of fortitude or they would not venture to own their heresy; and they cannot afford to be deficient in any of the other virtues, as that would give advantage to their many enemies; and they have not like orthodox sinners, such a number of friends to excuse or justify them.  Do not, however mistake me.  It is not to my good friend's heresy that I impute his honesty.  On the contrary, 'tis his honesty that has brought upon him the character of heretic.
 
~(Benjamin Franklin)~
 
 
In a remarkable coincidence,
my birthday is the same as Benedict Arnold's;
the same as to whom Benjamin Franklin is quoted above coming to the defense of a friend.

I can't help but find it strange...

not only was my mother a Wolfe
(think the founding of Rome and the beginning of the census)...

her mother was a Franklin...?

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Franz Kafka - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



Franz Kafka - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Franz Kafka[a] (3 July 1883 – 3 June 1924) was a German-language writer of novels and short stories, regarded by critics as one of the most influential authors of the 20th century. Kafka strongly influenced genres such as existentialism. His works, such as "Die Verwandlung" ("The Metamorphosis"), Der Process (The Trial), and Das Schloss (The Castle), are filled with the themes and archetypes of alienation, physical and psychological brutality, parent–child conflict, characters on a terrifying quest, labyrinths of bureaucracy, and mystical transformations.

Kafka was born into a middle-class, German-speaking Jewish family in Prague, then part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. He trained as a lawyer and, after completing his legal education, obtained employment with an insurance company. He began to write short stories in his spare time. For the rest of his life, he complained about the little time he had to devote to what he came to regard as his calling. He regretted having to devote so much attention to his Brotberuf ("day job", literally "bread job").  He had a complicated and troubled relationship with his father that had a major effect on his writing. He also suffered conflict over being Jewish, feeling that it had little to do with him, although critics argue that it influenced his writing.

Kafka had an active sex life. According to Brod, Kafka was "tortured" by sexual desire and Kafka's biographer Reiner Stach states that his life was full of "incessant womanising" and that he was filled with a fear of "sexual failure". He visited brothels for most of his adult life and was interested in pornography. In addition, he had close relationships with several women during his life. On 13 August 1912, Kafka met Felice Bauer, a relative of Brod, who worked in Berlin as a representative of a dictaphone company. A week after the meeting at Brod's home, Kafka wrote in his diary:
Miss FB. When I arrived at Brod's on 13 August, she was sitting at the table. I was not at all curious about who she was, but rather took her for granted at once. Bony, empty face that wore its emptiness openly. Bare throat. A blouse thrown on. Looked very domestic in her dress although, as it turned out, she by no means was. (I alienate myself from her a little by inspecting her so closely ...) Almost broken nose. Blonde, somewhat straight, unattractive hair, strong chin. As I was taking my seat I looked at her closely for the first time, by the time I was seated I already had an unshakeable opinion.
 Kafka feared that people would find him mentally and physically repulsive. However, those who met him perceived him to possess a quiet and cool demeanor, obvious intelligence and a dry sense of humour; they also found him boyishly handsome, although of austere appearance. Brod compared Kafka to Heinrich von Kleist, noting that both writers had the ability to realistically describe a situation with precise details. Brod thought Kafka was one of the most entertaining people he had met; Kafka enjoyed sharing humour with his friends, but also helped them in difficult situations with good advice. According to Brod, he was a passionate reciter, who was able to phrase his speaking as if it were music. Brod felt that two of Kafka's most distinguishing traits were "absolute truthfulness" (absolute Wahrhaftigkeit) and "precise conscientiousness" (präzise Gewissenhaftigkeit). He explored the detail, the inconspicuous, profoundly with such love and precision that things surfaced that had been unforeseen, that seemed strange, but were nothing but true (nichts als wahr).





Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Requiem for a Dream - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Requiem for a Dream - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Requiem for a Dream is a 2000 American psychological thriller directed by Darren Aronofsky and starring Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly, and Marlon Wayans. The film is based on the novel of the same name by Hubert Selby, Jr., with whom Aronofsky wrote the screenplay. Burstyn was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance. The film was screened out of competition at the 2000 Cannes Film Festival.

The film depicts different forms of addiction, which lead to the characters’ imprisonment in a world of delusion and reckless desperation that is subsequently overtaken by reality.

The film charts three seasons in the lives of Sara Goldfarb, her son Harry, his girlfriend Marion Silver, and his friend Tyrone C. Love.

The majority of reviewers characterized Requiem for a Dream in the genre of "drug movies", along with films like The Basketball Diaries, Trainspotting, Spun, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. However, Aronofsky has said:

Requiem for a Dream is not about heroin or about drugs… The Harry-Tyrone-Marion story is a very traditional heroin story. But putting it side by side with the Sara story, we suddenly say, 'Oh, my God, what is a drug?' The idea that the same inner monologue goes through a person's head when they're trying to quit drugs, as with cigarettes, as when they're trying to not eat food so they can lose 20 pounds, was really fascinating to me. I thought it was an idea that we hadn't seen on film and I wanted to bring it up on the screen.

In the book, Selby refers to the "American Dream" as amorphous and unattainable, a compilation of the various desires of the story's characters.
 
 

***
 


Hubert Selby Jr Interviewed by Ellen Burstyn Part 1

8

Hubert Selby Jr Interviewed by Ellen Burstyn Part 2
 
 
 

Monday, July 1, 2013

Avery Stone: What If Paula Deen Had Called Someone a Fag?



Avery Stone: What If Paula Deen Had Called Someone a Fag?: Have you heard the other news? Alec Baldwin, a still-beloved actor, tweeted homophobic slurs. And the effect on his career and reputation is, so far, absolutely nothing.

If you haven't read the tweets, here's what happened: Baldwin, in a heated online argument with British reporter George Stark (over whether or not Baldwin's wife tweeted during a funeral), lashed out on Twitter. Baldwin wrote, "I'm gonna find you, George Stark, you toxic little queen, and I'm gonna fuck...you...up." A minute later, he added, "I'd put my foot up your fucking ass, George Stark, but I'm sure you'd dig it too much." At first, Baldwin denied -- and then deleted -- his tweets. He has since apologized, asserting that he never meant to be homophobic.

Baldwin, an actor best known for his role in NBC's 30 Rock, and for his endorsement deal with Capital One, has not yet suffered any consequences for his violent, homophobic language. His endorsement deal remains intact. Media attention has been minimal, especially compared with Deen's. Unbelievably, Baldwin seems so far to have emerged from the incident largely unscathed.

So my question is this: What if Paula Deen had called someone a fag? Would she still have lost everything? My guess is no. And, even in 2013, when there is so much to celebrate in the vein of LGBT rights, these episodes show that it's still possible to get away with homophobia. And that's something to get angry about.


***
"YOU DON'T THINK
GAY RIGHTS and CIVIL RIGHTS
ARE
THE SAME THING DO YOU?!"
~(Terrell)~
 
For some reason,
reading this article reminded me of an incident between me an a black male technician named Terrel who worked at one of the clinics I substituted regularly as a relief veterinarian.
 
This immaculate ejaculation had just exploded from no where!
 
Will admit...
do have a habit of wanting to discuss political issue when things are slow at work.
 
Just do not remember what I've might have said or was wanting to discuss that made
Terrell
all of a sudden
insisting
this topic be discussed now instead.

Then again,
 "discussing this issue"
apparently
just my misunderstanding.
.
"Alright.  Getting close to using that "N" word."
~(James E. Avery, DVM)~
 
What made me so angry was not his opinion,
but his refusal letting me even try explaining where and how they were the same as opposed to where and how their issues/sufferings differed from ours.

He absolutely refused hearing any of it. 
 
"Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere."
~(Martin Luther King)~
 
And I even tried quoting Coretta Scott King's answer when asked that very same question; who herself was only quoting her husband.
 
That incident was weird...
just weird.
 
How he seemed to have completely forgotten,
or 
just so blinded by bias toward me for other reasons,
(was it me being a white male?/was it me being gay?/was it me being an atheist?/just too much?), 
that 
the veterinarian I was relieving for that day,
not only a lesbian...
but
owner of that clinic as well. 

The one responsible for Terrel having his job.
 
In the end,
after this ugly mess worked it's way back to the lesbian veterinarian/owner of this clinic,
even she didn't give me the just support I truly deserved. 
 
"I feel safer living in a black neighborhood
than
a redneck neighborhood."
~(Dr. Kat)~
 
Coming to her defense, 
will volunteer these facts:
not only was her staff almost all blacks, 
the neighborhood she and her partner chose living in off Memorial Drive was also predominately blacks. 
 
But there was more to this anger provoking my threat of using the "N" word.

During my attempt trying to get Terrell at least hearing my explanation of the gay perspective to this civil rights debate, the receptionist had walked into the treatment areas and handed me a small dog needing it's vaccines before being taken to the back for boarding.

At this point, decided to just give up and go back to work.  Just walked over to the treatment table, placed this dog on top, and started with the physical exam.  While doing this exam,  asked Terrel to pull up the vaccines or hand me something.
  Do not remember exactly what I asked of him.  Did not actually hear what it was Terrell said in reply.  Just how he said it while continuing to do nothing as he leaned with his back up against the counter near the CD player.

This was not the first time Terrell had shown me disrespect as the veterinarian; but this time was definitely not subtle and below the radar of others noticing as they usually have been.   As a relief veterinarian, the previous incidences were minor enough for me to consider them not worth the risk of Dr. Lavell, whom I've known since the days we first worked together as associate veterinarians for Pets Are People Too Ansley's location, chosing to go with a different relief veterinarian for future dates; finding one more to her staff's liking easier than risk having to hire/train a new technician.

But this time, not only was the disrespect coming from a technician crossing my line as the veterinarinian; the source of this disrespect I'm all the more certain this time, most likely the same as all the others incidences that have happened different clinics over the years but only able assuming. 

Then came my not so veiled threat.

With Terrell again hopping angrily all over the place; pick the dog off the table, turned around, placed the dog in an empty cage just behind me, then walked three steps over to the desk. Then sitting myself down into a chair; watch as I waited for Terrell to get this out of his system.

"How would you like it if I called you a FAGGOT?!"
~(Terrell)~
This time, Terrell's face only inches from my face as I sat in that desk chair, very calmly answered back:
"Do not need to hear you to know that you already have."
Oh how I wished a video recording of that startled expression flashing acrossed Terrell's face, only I able witnessing,
ending that day's debate. 
 
Where Terrel is concerned,
although much bigger than me,
this is one black man I have no problem with calling...
ONE STUPID NIGGER.

And I will never back down or apologize for my use of the "N" word with today's blog entry.

***






Paula Deen is Not Alone


***

July 12, 2013

Having since given this blog entry some more thought, felt an additional entry important.

It's very important people understand my boldness calling Terrel "ONE STUPID NIGGER" using the Internet.

Had this incident between me an Terrel happened at any other clinic, I would not have told him of my wanting to use the "N" word although still thinking so.  Instead, would quickly have written Terrel behavior off not only as ignorant and unworldly where gays rights are concerned...
but also as misdirected aggression toward me as a white male somewhat redneck.

Being not only a bleeding heart liberal but gay as well,  I do understand, despite the time that has elapsed since slavery was abolished, prejudice is still actively at work, everyday, unfairly keeping blacks (black homosexual even more so) from achieving an equal standard of living with the rest of America.

But it didn't happen at any other clinic.  It happened at this clinic who's owner not only a lesbian responsible for Terrell having a job, also a veterinarian Terrel has to work in close contact with.  He has absolutely no justifiable excuse, having had this much opportunity understanding the gay perspective,  explaining the horror he displayed at the thought of me believing gay rights and civil rights were the same thing.

This and the fact we even once got into a debate over outlawing "sagging." 

Terrel was for a law being passed, currently being debated, underwritten by a local black politician believing this the best way dealing with a form of non-violent protest he thought was harmful to the black cause. 

Although having to agree somewhat with this politician's perspective due to my southern white male upbringing among conservatives, a confession actually putting me at odds not only with what's supposed to be my own tribe but definitely with my own family, I came to the defense of these young men trying to explain why I was against the law.  They were simply forcibly bringing to the public attention, in the only way they knew how, an injustice needing correcting only they truly understand; able justifying putting themselves at odds with other within their own community, some even rightfully viewed as indifferent/dismissive of their needs being of low priority.

The passage of this law, at heart, would just be another slap in the face for these young men; most definitely not the best way addressing the issue of "sagging."
 
Will just be replaced with something else;
most likely even more violence white conservatives already misinterpreting, some purposely, as an excuse refusing letting go of their oversized slice of the American pie.

I would love to be approached by representative of the black community, asking me to be their "pet redneck" at the end of a leash, barking for a cause of theirs.  Definitely one addressing the needs of  these young men "sagging."

But with plenty the likes of Terrell and his prejudices within their community; pretty much explains why this will never happen with me. 

Plan on showing up at this clinic, presenting Dr. Kat with a printed copy of this blog entry.  Believe it only fair to her to at least be aware of this blog entry.  Will request she let Terrell read it also.