Which of the Seven Dwarfs Would You Have Settled Down With
Had
You Given Up on Your Prince Charming Coming Along in Time?
Maybe You Already have...?
Plot
Through a textual prologue told via a storybook, the audience is told that Snow White is a princess living with her stepmother, a vain and wicked Queen who is assumed to have taken over the kingdom after the death of Snow White's father. Fearing Snow White's beauty surpassing her own, the Queen forced her to work as a scullery maid and asked her Magic Mirror daily "who is the fairest one of all". For many years the mirror always answered that the Queen was, pleasing her.
At the film's opening, the Magic Mirror informs the Queen that Snow White is now the fairest in the land. The jealous Queen orders a reluctant huntsman to take Snow White into the woods and kill her. She further demands that the huntsman return with Snow White's heart in a jeweled box as proof of the deed. The huntsman encounters Snow White but decides not to harm her. He tearfully begs for her forgiveness, revealing the Queen wants her dead, and urges her to flee into the woods and never come back, bringing back a pig's heart instead.
Lost and frightened, the princess is befriended by woodland creatures who lead her to a cottage deep in the woods. Finding seven small chairs in the cottage's dining room, Snow White assumes the cottage is the untidy home of seven orphaned children. It soon becomes apparent that the cottage belongs instead to seven adult dwarfs, Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey, who work in a nearby mine. Returning home, they are alarmed to find their cottage clean and surmise that an intruder has invaded their home. The dwarfs find Snow White upstairs, asleep across three of their beds. Snow White awakes to find the Dwarfs at her bedside and introduces herself, and all of the dwarfs eventually welcome her into their home after they learn she can cook and clean beautifully. Snow White begins a new life cooking, cleaning, and keeping house for the dwarfs while they mine for jewels and at night sing, play music and dance.
The dwarfs return to their cottage and find Snow White seemingly dead, being kept in a death-like slumber by the potion. Unwilling to bury her out of sight in the ground, they instead place her in a glass coffin trimmed with gold in a clearing in the forest. Together with the woodland creatures, they keep watch over her in an "eternal vigil". After some time, a prince, who had previously met and fallen in love with Snow White, learns of her eternal sleep and visits her coffin. Saddened by her apparent death, he kisses her, which breaks the spell and awakens her. The dwarfs and animals all rejoice as the Prince takes Snow White to his castle, which glows in the presence of Snow White.
***
UPHILL
SNOW WHITE and HIS THREE MIN PINS
The Miniature Pinscher (Zwergpinscher, Min Pin) is a small breed of dog, originating from Germany. The breed's earliest ancestors may have been a mix of Italian Greyhounds and Dachshunds. The international kennel club, the Fédération Cynologique Internationale, lists the Miniature Pinscher in Group 2, Section 1.1 Pinscher, along with the Dobermann, the German Pinscher, the Austrian Pinscher, and the other toy pinscher, the Affenpinscher. Other kennel clubs list the Miniature Pinscher in the Toy Group or Companion Group. The Miniature Pinscher is colloquially known as the "King of the Toys".
LIPSTICK
on (HIS WIFE) a
PIT BULL
BEN HUR'S CHARIOT RIDE
DOWNHILL
***
First time seeing 'Snow White', he was being pulled uphill in front of my house by three fat Miniature Pinschers setting off gaydar big time; my type exactly preferring guys my size or smaller...
a 'TOP/VERS pig' myself.
Then I come to realize he lived in the house with that 'Lipstick on a Pit Bull' , as I came to know her first because of a Democratic Party of Georgia volunteer canvassing our neighborhood seeking donations, busting my bubble. Although the volunteer did not specifiably tell me the woman was a Sarah Palin fan, could not stop believing so as I listened to him tell me their story of her charging at him out of her house counterpoint arguing every point trying to make.
Over the years, seen him frequently chatting with the 'green acre faggots' living in the house between theirs and mine. Nothing's wrong with 'Snow White' being 'straight but not narrow'; friends with those 'useless faggots'. No denying 'Snow White' fuckably cutest guy living this neighborhood.
But...
when averaging their two houses together you get Megan McCain.
Although still 'strickly dickly', that's still Republican; something still which I can NOT stand.
Then one day looking out my bedroom window o'er all the land (that side of house anyway), saw three fat Min Pins pulling downhill in front of their home, a handsome man looking almost as if whistling a happy tune.
"WHO IS THAT MAN," I asked myself.
"NEVER SEEN HIM WALKING THIS NEIGHBORHOOD BEFORE!"
Then I came to realize, just little bitty 'Snow White' leaning slightly backwards, as he's being pulled downhill by three little Min Pins.
Him having the appearance of looking...
SO MUCH TALLER.
Like Ben Hur on one of his chariot rides.
Obviously two to them Min Pins just need to relax.
Busting my bubble again!
Then only recently seeing "Show White' walking his wife as they pushed a stroller containing a brand new infant; while dragging along from behind were three fat little Min Pins. Realizing, seeing for the first time, those two together; can't help wonder if one of them, if not both of them, maybe ex-gay. Would very easily explain 'Snow White's" friendliness, while not including his wife, with those 'green acre faggots', living across the street from them.
Oh well...
at least now we know where dwarfs come from.
***
"A laugh can be a very powerful thing.
Why,
sometimes in life,
it's the only weapon we have."
Then one day looking out my bedroom window o'er all the land (that side of house anyway), saw three fat Min Pins pulling downhill in front of their home, a handsome man looking almost as if whistling a happy tune.
"WHO IS THAT MAN," I asked myself.
"NEVER SEEN HIM WALKING THIS NEIGHBORHOOD BEFORE!"
Then I came to realize, just little bitty 'Snow White' leaning slightly backwards, as he's being pulled downhill by three little Min Pins.
Him having the appearance of looking...
SO MUCH TALLER.
Like Ben Hur on one of his chariot rides.
Obviously two to them Min Pins just need to relax.
Busting my bubble again!
Then only recently seeing "Show White' walking his wife as they pushed a stroller containing a brand new infant; while dragging along from behind were three fat little Min Pins. Realizing, seeing for the first time, those two together; can't help wonder if one of them, if not both of them, maybe ex-gay. Would very easily explain 'Snow White's" friendliness, while not including his wife, with those 'green acre faggots', living across the street from them.
Oh well...
at least now we know where dwarfs come from.
***
"A laugh can be a very powerful thing.
Why,
sometimes in life,
it's the only weapon we have."
Plot
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In 1947, cartoon characters, commonly called "toons", are living beings who act out cartoons in the same way that human actors make live-action production. Toons interact freely with humans and live in Toontown, an area near Hollywood, California. R. K. Maroon is the human owner of Maroon Cartoon studios; Roger Rabbit is a fun-loving toon rabbit, one of Maroon's stars; Roger's wife Jessica is a gorgeous toon woman; and Baby Herman is Roger's costar, a 50-year-old toon who looks like an infant. Marvin Acme is the practical joke-loving owner of Toontown and the Acme Corporation.
Maroon hires private detective Eddie Valiant to investigate rumors that Jessica is having an affair. Eddie and his brother Teddy used to be friends of the toon community, but Eddie has hated them, and has been drinking heavily, since his brother Teddy was killed by a toon a few years earlier. When he shows Roger photographs of Jessica "cheating" on him by playing patty-cakewith Acme, Roger becomes distraught and runs away. This makes him the main suspect when Acme is found murdered the next day. At the crime scene, Eddie meets Judge Doom and hisToon Patrol of weasel henchmen. Although toons are impervious to physical abuse, Doom has discovered that they can be killed by submerging them in a mixture of solvents he refers to as "Dip." He demonstrates this to Valiant by lowering a living cartoon shoe into a drum of Dip until it dissolves, leaving only a smear of paint floating on top.
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