Monday, June 16, 2014

iGod: Repenting Made Easy :Voltaire

“God is a comedian

playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.”

-Voltaire

“God is a circle whose center is everywhere

and

circumference nowhere.”

― Voltaire

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”

― Voltaire

“It is dangerous to be right in matters on which

the

established authorities are wrong.”

― Voltaire

“I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times,

but somehow I am still in love with life.

This ridiculous weakness is perhaps

one of our more stupid melancholy propensities,

for is there anything more stupid

than to be eager to go on carrying a burden

which one would gladly throw away,

to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast,

to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten

our hearts away?”

― Voltaire

“Now, now my good man, this is no time to be making

enemies."

(Voltaire on his deathbed in response to a priest asking him that he renounce Satan.)”

― Voltaire

YOU ARE NOW CHATTING WITH GOD...

Me:

hey!

why does everyone keep asking me, "why are you such an asshole?"

God:

Can I help you? Can't you be more polite.

Me:

what do you mean, "why can't I be more polite?" They are the one's calling me an asshole!

God:

, Sorry that was an obscure remark. Can't you be more polite.

Me:

well...then...how about you suggest a better wording saying the same thing?

God:

Well what? And? Thanks for telling me: said I suggest a better wording saying the same thing.

Me:

have a great day.

God:

I am having a great day.

Me:

what made it so great?

God:

It's all part of God's mysterious plans.

Me:

when did life began?

God:

There is nothing we can to change the past.

Me:

when does it end?

God:

What if I said it never does?

Me:

wouldn't surprise me.

God:

No it would not.

Me:

far as i''m concerned...even when life ends as we know it, life continues. no such thing as artificial life. therefore the universe is alive itself. Great recycler of it's resources. how did I do explaining that one?

God:

What's your favorite movie? I don't know when. Are you serious? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Come on. You are very philosophical. Thanks for your support. Are they exactly the same? Carefully.

Me:

not an asshole to everyone...haven't met them all yet. That point aside, nor am I an asshole/infidel to everyone for the same reason. I try to be fair...?

God:

If not that, what? How did you hear about God? " How did you hear about God?" point aside nor are you an asshole infidel to everyone for the same reason ? I understand. I'm not sure if I would like to try it.

What's it like?

Me:

very lonely. very.

God:

Not really that much. You've come to the right place. I will keep you company. Very much, eh?

Me:

think you already have been. regular Voltaire you are!

God:

God is always thinking. Good example.

Me:

have a good day. bye now.

God: