Re: Contact and Bondaries

From James Avery

Saturday, November 27, 2010 at 4::08 pm

I'm sorry for the pain I caused you.  It was not my intention.  I do not deny having personal problems.  Was actually reaching out for some help. 
Again, I apoligize for barging into your home and upsetting Janet.  I do not own a gun or plan to.
jim ed
''The physicists say that I am a mathematician, and the mathematicians say that I am a physicist,'' he said. ''I am a completely isolated man and though everybody knows me, there are very few people who really know me.''

From: ""

Cc: ""
Sent: Sat, November 27, 2010 1:33:55 PM
Subject: Contact and Boundaries

Hello Jim Ed,
You must know that in the future, there will be clear boundaries for making contact with Janet and me, especially Janet.  This is not to say there will be no further contacts with us, but it must be under a number of conditions.

Janet wanted to add her word before we set the conditions together.  Here is her note to you:

Jim Ed,

I was more than a little disturbed by your visit on Wednesday.  In the spirit of neighborliness and the Thanksgiving holiday coming up, I opened our house to you, even though I felt s bit uncomfortable doing so, especially in Bob?s absence.

We ironed out what you perceived to be a rejection on my part.

When you wanted to share the symbols that are meaningful to you, I was interested, although having a hard time ?getting it? in the way you told it to me.  No input from me seemed to even get through to you, or matter at all.

I was very disturbed when you talked of your depression, thinking about getting your gun, and when you told me you are the ?Anti-Christ? and a  ?crack-head? I began to be somewhat afraid of you and wished I had not opened my door to you.

When I told you I needed medications and even that didn?t stop your monologue, I said it again and began to leave the room.  At that point you did thank me for listening and left, saying you would leave your stuff so you could come back. You either didn?t hear me or didn?t pay attention when I said, ?No, take them with you.?

Bob and I both feel we and our space were violated, and Bob has drawn up some conditions under which we may all co-exist  as neighbors. I concur with what he has written below.  Janet

The Conditions:
1. There can be no further non-negotiated visits on your part with either or both of us.
2. We are not available to participte in your theological doctrines
which you presented to Janet for more than one hour and fifteen minutes. You failed to leave our house until the second time Janet indicated she needed a break for medicines. You may not know that Janet has Parkinson's and extended stressful events activate her symptoms. Furthermore, Janet needed to take her
medicines and tried to bring your theological discourse to a close,
but you continued. Furthermore, you left your basket of possessions in
our house in order that you would have assurance of returning to our
house. That is far too presumptuous for us.
3. You do not have permission to enter our property or phone our house
unless you can abide by these limits.

4. We do not listen to religious talk from anyone, let alone invite
them into our home. We do not do that with you. We share our faith
with people who ask questions of us and our religious convictions. You
had no questions for Janet, only pressing her to agree with your

G. Robert Gary, Sr. ThD