So Strong; yet so calm: Mary's Choice.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Quotes About Sadness (1016 quotes) Plus Two More

“Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go
To heal my heart and drown my woe
Rain may fall, and wind may blow
And many miles be still to go
But under a tall tree will I lie
And let the clouds go sailing by”

― J.R.R. Tolkien

Quotes About Sadness (1016 quotes):




Although all and any cats I choose to share my life with have been and will be if not already, four paws declawed; still letting them go outside.  What right have I got denying them the stuff that gets them excited, feeding their souls and feeling alive; the very essence of being a cat?

And being a veterinarian, knew I was going to... NEED... an answer ready before even the first question.

But then again,
 these weren't exactly(?)questions(?)satisfied with an answer.

~(Female technicians(?)All of them)~

"At least some of the chipmunks get away. 
Or the snakes, frogs, lizards, moles, birds, etc.  They get their chance going through wildlife adding up, most times, greater than their body weight.  
all I pray...
should anything happen to them, I find them so I know.  
That has got to be the worst feeling: 
not knowing when to stop looking, the thought of them helplessly waiting the one place you've missed.  
Then I remind myself, 
this will be my punishment for choosing to share my life 
'subsidized hunters'."
~(James E. Avery, DVM)~

"(speechless)"   plus/minus  "That's true."


"Never thought of looking at it that way."
~(Female technicians(?)All of them)~

So far...all of them.




"Very important you understand,
(while holding up a ten dollar bill),
this does not mean I believed any part of your sad story. 
~(Simply Jim:  One Pearl, Total Pig, Anti-Christ.)~

One night during that first round of snow, had to get out of the house. 

 I'm not going to lie.
It was to purchase some "(...?...)".

Although nowhere near as bad as before,  the problem/craving is still there.

And it doesn't help, having done it almost everyday since 1999, that of the few friends I had, they were all crackheads themselves by the time I realized having to do my own intervention.  Certainly these friends are not going to be of much help keeping me away from the drug or meeting new people not drug user one form or another.

it's not ever going to have a chance being controlled as effectively it could be...
until I get my family, the Gary family (oh yes they are to be included because of this three year wait for just the court arraignment, still, due to an emial sent them not only just words but words to be true/ plus they were the first to be told), the County, and apparently even the State, on the same page as to the root causes of my addiction.... in the first place!  To continue behaving as if I'm the one solely to blame for the crystal meths addiction will just be them choosing to continue refusing recognizing their contribution to America's huge drug addiction problem at large.

right now,
everyone is just pointing and telling me to go everywhere else, instead of willing to contribute in any ways helpful I ask of them;  becoming,  retroactively,  team member of my drug addiction intervention.

This is what happens when one ends up having to do their own drug addiction intervention.  There just isn't the proper supportive network there waiting for them, willingly and wanting to help when we try.  Not when it's going to involve hearing some unpleasant truths about themselves as well.  And there is no way around this sad truth.

you're part of the problem; never part of a solution.

Left on it's own...
truths always prevail; just too late.

"Those with a surplus are better able controlling their circumstances.  Those without, are controlled by them.  One is not always able exercising good judgement."
~(Henry Ford?)~

And yes,
you will find success stories by others having performed their own intervention.

But let's be honest with ourselves...

(C. S. Lewis)

Churches willing to take on these for their pet projects are a dime -a- dozen.  That's not a success story, just a broken spirit; and a sucker of a Church for wasting all that "HARD EARNED MONEY/HUSH MONEY" placed into offering plates when passed around.   The only success of that story is that church having purchased themselves a trophy; spending even more money maintaining that trophy just keeping it nice, shiny, and ready for "show and tell" at a moments notice. It's not like these churches would be willing to put the same effort into someone unconditionally.

I've said it before and will say it again,  Churches, especially those big, beautiful, and mostly white congregation are nothing more than "money laundering scheme"/"social clubs" set up helping those with a surplus expiating for their guilt's/sins on the cheap. 

Anyway, although there was not much open that night midtown either, streets pretty much deserted because of melted snow from earlier in the day refreezing, Popeye's Chicken was open for business. The drive through was closed; so having to go inside to place my carry out order.

While looking up trying to decided my order, approached by a sad looking black man asking for exactly $17.00 so he could replace a tire.  And it sounded like this man's wife and child, with whom he was travelling, were still with the vehicle not anywhere near-by either.

VAGRANCY noun (Concise Encyclopedia)

Act of wandering about without employment or identifiable means of support. Traditionally a vagrant was thought to be one who was able to work for his maintenance but preferred instead to live idly, often as a beggar. Punishment ranged from branding and whipping to conscription into the military services and transportation to penal colonies. In the U.S., laws against vagrancy were used by police and prosecutors to proscribe a wide range of behaviours. Many such laws were struck down as unconstitutionally vague, thus largely decriminalizing vagrancy, though in the 1990s many local laws were implemented to curtail aggressive panhandling, begging, and other activities by vagrants on city streets.

Normally these people get $20.00 from me with no questions asked.  In fact, rather not even hear their stories.  And I'm really in no place, this patch of my life, giving this money away while no income coming in. This has been going on now for over three years since that unfaithful Thanksgiving 2010; that day alone inside the home of G. Robert Gary, Sr. ThD, with his wife Janet Claire Segers Gary.

  There were like four people right behind me waiting for their orders, and some sitting at tables eating, when approached by this man asking for exactly $17.00.

He was asking so quietly,
had to repeatedly ask him to speak up louder, even after pointing out my hearing impairment; before even able hearing the story.

"Very important you understand,
(while holding up a ten dollar bill),
this does not mean I believed any part of your sad story.  
Just means I understand your predicament most likely related to factors beyond your control than anything you did wrong. 
Just me 
giving...YOU...the benefit of the doubt...YOU...know
how best to spend this;
without any judgement from me."
~(Simply Jim:  One Pearl, Total Pig, Anti-Christ.)~

Then handed him the ten dollar bill; soon placing an order for a two breast piece meal with red beans and rice as my side.

Once receiving my order, now turning around and ready to be on my way, there he is again. Although not exactly blocking my way out of  Popeye's, there was no doubt it was me he spoke to; me having to stop and asking him repeating himself louder, again.

"I'm really hungry, 
May I have one of your chicken pieces?"

"I just gave you ten dollars."
~(Simply Jim:  One Pearl, Total Pig, Anti-Christ.)~

"I told you, I needed $17.00 to fix a tire.  
That wasn't enough!"

"And I told you, 
 I'm sorry. That's the best I'm able helping.  
Just pay for it with the ten dollars." 
~(Simply Jim:  One Pearl, Total Pig, Anti-Christ.)~

And I do not speak softly.

Why I did this to that poor man
was all I could think about, while driving under dangerous road conditions, rest of trip back to my warm comfortable home.  Why didn't I just quietly give him the usual $20.00.  Was there really anything different about his story.

Of course not.
That's why I don't care to hear them to begin with...normally?

But this night, had an audience.
Although a small one, it's the only reason I'm able coming up with.

Except for the workers behind the counter at this Popeye's that night, everyone else except this vagrant were white.  They could have pitched in, if not already.  They were the ones I was wanting to hear, when I said:

"Just means I understand your predicament most likely related to factors beyond your control than anything you did wrong. 
Just me 
giving...YOU...the benefit of the doubt...YOU...know
best to spend this;
without any judgement from me."
~(Simply Jim:  One Pearl, Total Pig, Anti-Christ.)~

It just had to be them; the reason.

If so,
how did this scene get scripted so fast. Not denying most of the things I said to this unfortunate man I had thought one form or another.  But most certainly did not script out this scene with the use of a vagrant.  I definitely work on a sliding scale when considering the audience of my criticism.

Unlike Jesus, who talent I've come to decide was an ability shooting off dialogue styled sermons and parables from the hip on the go, and probably a voice and appearance pleasing to the eyes and ears; I have none of these.   So these last three years since attempting my drug intervention, which so far has been a complete disaster, or has it; nothing but lots of  free time and nothing better to do but contemplation, anticipation, and/or foreshadowing?  

Even if this vagrant spends most of this money on cheap liquor just to get drunk,  if  helping him forgetting his problems, dulling the pain, although only momentarily;  feel I've helped him more than most.

Even if most of the helping comes in the form of a shorter miserable life existence due to the harmful effects of alcohol poisoning;  I've just helped him even more than most...again.

I've now seen first hand how this system works, this system set in place this other end of America's health care system.

~(Dr. Kenneth Johnson, DVM)~

"Then why have health insurance?  That still "socialized medicine" isn't it?"
~(Simply Jim:  One Pearl, Total Pig, Anti-Christ.)~

I'm convinced even more, our need for Universal Health care.  That was herd health medicine;
 without my consent.

  Thank...GOD...I stopped paying the premiums on  my health insurance when trying to drive a point home with my mother.  Not only am I refusing to pay this bill I'm being held responsible for, there is now a lien against my home.

Since having attempted my own drug intervention,  the behavior of my family, the Gary's and other neighbors, co-workers,  etc., ... have done nothing but impress even deeper... an already pessimistic view of this world we live.

And breaking
TRAGIC (as opposed to balanced) ViSION OF HUMANKIND
to start with religion and their churches.

The organization having the most potential creating the changes needed rather than just maintaining the status quo; learned helplessness.

It may sound like "the joy of living" they are preaching...
but after all things said and done,
at heart,
it still just dope.

"It doesn't have to be the end of the world to be the end or our world; 
just a world...
yours and/or mine."
~(Simply Jim: One Pearl, Total Pig, Anti-Christ.)~

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